I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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