Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize