i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
