Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
