Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
