Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
