Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
