haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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