also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
