i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
