Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
