I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize