If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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