"it" just moved
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
