none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
