Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize