even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
