is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
