I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
