I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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