he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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