I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
birth control should be required to get into college
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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