You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
