you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
