we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
