"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
