You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
