I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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