in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
