I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize