sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
