I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
