hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
