he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
