Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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