try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize