names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
