At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
