put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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