no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
