dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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