tell your sister to shave her snatch
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We're too hungover to prance.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
