she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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