I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize