is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
