Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
