So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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