Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
