white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't deserve a penis
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
