Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
im on a boat
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