I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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