I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
