I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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