I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Omg I joined a choir last night...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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