I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
