Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
do herpes really smell.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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