I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just found puke in my bra..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
