Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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